Vanity? Or a sense of self-worth

Sara posted something recently about growing into yourself, and it struck a chord with me, as I've been dwelling on some seemingly unimportant and to some, petty, issues of late.


It all started with the pics from Baker's Dozen. The scale weight looks good to me, and the clothing sizes are smaller than I've seen since my late teens...but I still felt I looked awfully darned fat in the photos. Is the old fat me lurking and trying to sabotage me into guilt eating. I'm well aware that I'm nver going to be skinny. Too many years building my soccer thighs for that to happen. But, to me, the photos didn't flatter or show how hard I've worked.

Then I latched onto my straggly long hair. I'd been griping about it being hot on my neck ever since the temperatures started riding. And I hadn't been doing anything with it except twisting it up into a less than attractive twist with a butterfly clip.

Finally...my teeth. Yellow. Yuck. I knew they weren't snow white, but BLECHHHH.

Much like Sara's post detailed, I didn't grow into my appeareance until I was in my twenties. I'm not as cute as Sara or as striking as Wil, but I don't curdle milk or crack glass. AND I just haven't been feeling it lately. Basically I've been too busy trying to get over illness and still get in my workouts and haven't bee paying attention to my appearance. Which is more important.

Really they both are. The old saying that if you look good, you feel good is damned true. So...I've been paying attention to my inner vain bitch these last few days. I bought bleach strips for the teeth and it's worth the half hour of constantly spitting out backed up saliva...as after just a couple days I can already see a huge increase in "whiteness".

I've dug through my closet and found my nicer clothing. Still casual Mallie style...but stuff that makes me feel cute. You gotta feel cute from time to time.

And I went back to the haircut that suits me best. Sure it will take a little more time in the morning...but it takes years off my face and it makes me smile to see it swinging and not piled into a messy knot.

Sure...Hashi and the other anonymous crew aren't going to be hailing my hotness. Who cares. I feel better. And that's what matters.

The blog's been short of training stuff, at least from this poster, for a short while. It will get back to that next week. Off for a weekend of in-law visiting...then the week before Yargo. Worries, final workouts and other weirdness next week. Plus I'll show off my new tri-top which just got delivered today. Yippie!!!