Vanity? Or a sense of self-worth

Sara posted something recently about growing into yourself, and it struck a chord with me, as I've been dwelling on some seemingly unimportant and to some, petty, issues of late.


It all started with the pics from Baker's Dozen. The scale weight looks good to me, and the clothing sizes are smaller than I've seen since my late teens...but I still felt I looked awfully darned fat in the photos. Is the old fat me lurking and trying to sabotage me into guilt eating. I'm well aware that I'm nver going to be skinny. Too many years building my soccer thighs for that to happen. But, to me, the photos didn't flatter or show how hard I've worked.

Then I latched onto my straggly long hair. I'd been griping about it being hot on my neck ever since the temperatures started riding. And I hadn't been doing anything with it except twisting it up into a less than attractive twist with a butterfly clip.

Finally...my teeth. Yellow. Yuck. I knew they weren't snow white, but BLECHHHH.

Much like Sara's post detailed, I didn't grow into my appeareance until I was in my twenties. I'm not as cute as Sara or as striking as Wil, but I don't curdle milk or crack glass. AND I just haven't been feeling it lately. Basically I've been too busy trying to get over illness and still get in my workouts and haven't bee paying attention to my appearance. Which is more important.

Really they both are. The old saying that if you look good, you feel good is damned true. So...I've been paying attention to my inner vain bitch these last few days. I bought bleach strips for the teeth and it's worth the half hour of constantly spitting out backed up saliva...as after just a couple days I can already see a huge increase in "whiteness".

I've dug through my closet and found my nicer clothing. Still casual Mallie style...but stuff that makes me feel cute. You gotta feel cute from time to time.

And I went back to the haircut that suits me best. Sure it will take a little more time in the morning...but it takes years off my face and it makes me smile to see it swinging and not piled into a messy knot.

Sure...Hashi and the other anonymous crew aren't going to be hailing my hotness. Who cares. I feel better. And that's what matters.

The blog's been short of training stuff, at least from this poster, for a short while. It will get back to that next week. Off for a weekend of in-law visiting...then the week before Yargo. Worries, final workouts and other weirdness next week. Plus I'll show off my new tri-top which just got delivered today. Yippie!!!

Couple More Baker's 1/2 Dozen Pics

Me, clean on the road...mud won't come until I hit the singletrack!


Melissa just before they called the race. She's muddier in the face...maybe the height difference?
I had more mud on my back than she did. Who knows! You really can't tell how dirty we were here.
Our washing machines took the full brunt of this event. My clothes weighed thrice their normal weight.

Blog Hopping

This isn't really a training post and it certainly isn't a race report, but every once in a while you just need to give props to the folks who inspire you. Lately there's a pretty large crop of online enduro-girls that help me get out of bed when the alarm goes off at 4:15 a.m.

Danielle Musto not only podiums at endurance and marathon mountain bike events, but she's not afraid to share that she's sometimes a sketchball on the trail. She's fast and strong, but she's also quick to give some applause to those that beat her. Can't be a better ambassador for the sport than that.

I so want to be this lady when I grow up. Hell, I want to be her now. Check out the recent pics. 52 years old and sporting a pretty impressive athletic figure and she rocks the sport of triathlon as well. Plus she's not stingy with advice, and she's quick to reply to an e-mail. All things I much admire!

Though I'm giving Mark D. more fodder for his pretty girl blog-stalking, I have to recognize Trisaratops and Iron Wil. These ladies not only know how to train hard, they're also masters of the entertaining post. It isn't all numbers and power output, you know. If you can make people laugh out loud, guiltily looking over their shoulder as they're supposed to be filling in a company spreadsheet, then you're a damn good blogger!

It's almost May and Jill's still slogging through snow and ice. She's been chased down by maniacs in a white minivan and she's addicted to goldfish crackers (my salty orange food of choice is Cheez-Its, but the similarity's there, damn it!!!). She just got her first fully sponsored ride invite and I can't think of anyone who deserves it more!

Namrita's had a rash of bad luck lately. But she's kept her chin up and even though she couldn't compete in some of the events she had planned, she didn't pitch a fit or sit and sulk. She still went out to the Cohutta 100 and volunteered. Nam understands that volunteering is what makes riding in these events possible and she doesn't hesitate for a second to do her share. I only wish I had a few more blog friends like her!

Installment two to come later today!

74 Degrees and Still Swimming

Scott and I met Iron Bill Causey at Lake Juliette Sunday afternoon and we finally got to try our wetsuits in open water. It was kinda cold, but otherwise fantastic - and not just because of the wetsuits, although they did make us faster. The reason it was so great was that I had forgotten how badly the pool sucks compared to open water. It's like the difference between running on a treadmill compared to outside. There's just no substitute for the real thing.

Swimming in open water has an almost meditative quality about it to me. I'm never more in the moment that when I'm swimming in the lake. You're forced to regulate your breathing when you swim. You can't listen to an iPod or talk to anyone while doing it. You don't have to look both ways before crossing a street or do flip turns at the end of a lane. And you're not distracted by traffic or dogs. Granted, the occasional snake, alligator or boat CAN be a bit distracting, but you take the good with the bad.

Anyway, triathletes have developed a reputation for training out there, so the park has made special arrangements for us this year. In the past, we'd always take off from this one area that's away from the boat ramp, but they've closed it to day users. Now it's reserved for campers and triathletes only. There's one catch - you have to buy a $35 year's pass. It’s totally worth it because you’d spend $3.50 every time you go anyway. Otherwise, you'd have to brave the boat ramp and the kiddies splashing around - much more dangerous than anything UNDER the water. :)

If you want to try it, go in the Dames Ferry entrance off Hwy 23 (Riverside Drive,) tell them that you’re a triathlete & give them cash. You’ll get a plastic hanger thingy with a big "T" drawn in black magic marker. And then you’ll KNOW you’re cool. So cool in fact that a gator every now & then will just make your day a bit more interesting. AND it'll make you swim faster, kinda like my runner buddy who learned to run faster in Iraq. There's nothing like incentive to get you moving.

Baker's Dozen = Sloppy Good Times

Hey all. Sorry for the lack of posts. I spent last week trying to feel better, getting ready for my first event and getting ready for a long weekend of camping and biking.

Baker's Dozen 2006, scheduled to take place 4/22/06 was my first event of the season. There was early concern about the event (rain was forecast for much of the weekend), but late Wednesday night the event web site said it was all a go. Frantic shopping and packing ensued on Thursday then I took myself up to Edgefield, SC. I was the early-bird crew, on a mission to get team Sorella some good camping/viewing/transition/hollering spots. I nabbed two on the shady side of the road and settled in (after a half-assed attempt to put up Aimee's tent without instructions).

James S. from the Northwest GA SORBA chapter had also arrived early, so I spent the afternoon hanging out with him. He came with me on a pre-ride lap and was very kind when I had a bad spell at the top of the one climbing section and also tried to help me with some squealing brakes. Thanks James and all of the NWGA crew...your cheers were awesome.

Melissa showed up to keep me company around 9:30 Thursday night and we gabbed for a few hours before we realized how late it was. We woke up about 6:30 on Friday and decide we'd take our pre-ride lap early and enjoy a relaxing day. It was a slow paced ride in the early morning cool. We broke all the cobwebs for future pre-riders and shared a water bottle as Melissa had forgotten hers. No vertigo issues for me on that ride.

It rained a bit and thundered hard Friday night, but the big issue was the call for an 80% chance of rain on Saturday. Though Melissa and I woke up extra early on Saturday morning and Melissa was the champion of the good vibes/wishes we got poured on just when all the rest of the Sorella crew showed up. We all huddled under the pop-up that Alison and Travis quickly set up and waited to hear the word. The rain slowed around 9-9:30 and we heard that the race would commence at noon instead of 10, and that if it started raining enough to cause damage to the trails we'd be given a 2-hour warning (this didn't happen, as a deluge hit during my fifth lap and the trail quickly showed the damage that only a large group of riders on wet trails can do. The race was called at a few minutes after six.

So...how'd we do? Lots of Sorellas on the podium (no I wasn't one of them). Melissa had a blast during her first event, along with Juliet and Alison. This three "woman" team came in first (there were no other three women teams, but I still think these girls would have rocked the house, as they never let up). We also won the two-person category by default, but Justine and Ashlie didn't rest on their laurels or their asses either and kept pounding out laps. Aimee came in second and I Ling came in third behind a powerhouse (but super sweet) solo rider that they immediately started trying to recruit to the blue and orange.

Me? I was pretty happy. I'd woken up several times during the night with dizzy spells and the weird head funk that my vertigo often leaves me with during a bad spell. I'd had a moment early in the morning where I had to lean on a tree until I could stand on my own with the dizzies. I'd almost decided not to do it, to bow out, because water in the ears only makes things worse for me, but the awesome Don Bill kindly and firmly counciled me to just toodle around as if I was on a Dauset fun ride. So I planned to toodle.

I was slow. I was sixth out of six solo riders. But I wasn't that slow. I did 40 miles, 5 laps in 5.5 hours. I was expecting to get lapped by some of my Sorella sisters and I did, but not until Aimee at the very end of my third lap, I Ling on the 4th and Jennifer at the middle of the 5th...so I didn't feel like a complete slacker. My average speed was slower than last year, but I was steady and just kept going. The second and final deluge came just as I hit the singletrack on my last lap. I couldn't see through my orange lenses so those came off and it was me and the mud and the rain (which was incredibly salty for some reason). The course was a mass of mud, water running in channels down the trail, roots slick and crafty from rain and mud of riders gone by and there were some fun slips and slides as I finished that lap. I decided to end the day there as I'd gotten serious water in my ears and the left one was aching and very hot. They called the meeting to call the race about fifteen minutes after I got in, so I changed clothes and tried to get warm.

On my way home, alone, that night, I started running a fever and my ear was feeling red hot. I wondered if I'd added an ear infection to the mix (but some careful "doctoring" when I got home helped out and I'm starting to think maybe the harsh conditions helped get my ear balance back on track). So I'm hopeful to be close to 100% for the upcoming 12 Hour at Ft. Yargo.

Some thank yous need to go out. Jennifer thanks for the cotton balls, they made the first laps much better! Aimee, I Ling, Jennifer, Jackie, Lori B, Justine, Ashlie, Juliet and all other Sorellas, thanks for cheering me on even though I was at the back. Rob Murphy, thanks for fixing my brakes. Don, Angie and Donna thanks for all the hollering and for getting me out there despite not feeling well and for taking pics (this is one of me hunched over laughing as I'd just shoved a Fig Newton in my mouth and Donna and Angie were taking pics as a piece flew out of my mouth). Alison and Travis, the easy-up was so nice to come "home" to after each lap, and Alison will soon have pics for all of us to check out and share. Juan, thanks for being super support to me as well as to Justine (the girl you came up to support). Javaun and Tim, thanks for cheering and calling out about our smiles, even when they were really grimaces. And Melissa...thanks for being a camping buddy, a super-fast racer and a great help when I was feeling like shite. You're a real rock star and you're only just beginning to accomplish all of the great biking achievements that you've got inside you. Now post on the blog, you slacker!!!

I'm sure Renee will be posting about some of her adventures this weekend, even though most of her posts went on the TdG blog she and Karen were keeping. Look for more from all of us as we get back into the swing here at enduroeejit! Look for pics as soon as I can wrangle them out of the crew.

Mallie

Tour de Georgia

So for the duration of the Tour de Georgia, I'll be posting from a new blog. Karen and I are blogging about the Tour for The Telegraph (where we both work). So if you're in the mood for funny tidbits from the Tour (including some photos of super-sexy bike legs) then head on over to macon.com and go BEYOND THE SPANDEX.
Here's our cute promo photo (just had to share).
:)

Butch?

Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for a little while, folks. As some of you might know, I've been out with what might be some serious kidney issues. I'm battling a patronizing doctor who's basically telling me not to worry my pretty little head. I don't believe him and am pushing for a referral to a specialist but I'm feeling much better and have decided to press on regardless. News at eleven.

I've been back to regular training for a while now. It may seem slightly suicidal, but I feel fine despite my persistent low-grade temperature and the doc certainly seems to think that I'm ok. (%#!@/&%!) I did my first 30-mile solo ride and then a short run yesterday. I've done plenty of brick workouts like that before, but never one by myself that was that long. Very liberating - gave me a lot more confidence as a rider and I wasn't lonely or bored 'cause I listened to the "Zen and the Art of Triathlon" podcast the whole way. Being relatively new to clipless pedals, I was pretty proud of the fact that I only lost my balance once, but out of all the secluded places it could have been on the mostly country course I'd carefully mapped out, I had to fall on Zebulon Rd in front of Wal-Mart and Saturday afternoon traffic! I'm sure I'll get at least one e-mail tomorrow from someone who got a kick out seeing me collapse sideways into the landscaping. I do have a good excuse - there was a gaping hole in the sidewalk that you couldn't see until you were right on top of it, but I'm still red-faced.

Hey, tell me something, y'all. Now I've never denied the fact that I'm a very girly version of the typical girly-girl. But I went and committed a traditionally male act yesterday by using masking tape to attach my iPod between my aerobars (works very well by the way.) Then, in an extremely female moment during my ride, I wondered if I could also attach a shoebox to my bike and finish the 25 miles I still had to go if I stopped and bought the pair of high heeled sandals I’ve been drooling over the past few weeks. I didn’t actually do it, but do you think that the mere thought cancels out the macho cyclist ideology of the iPod thing? Perhaps if it had been duct tape...

I pondered it for a few fleeting moments after my workout, then shrugged my shoulders and decided to give myself a pedicure. Might as well stick with the tried and true. A girly-girl's gotta look the part, especially if she's gonna wear those sick new 3-1/2 inch heel sandals. Hey, something besides an injury's gotta put a wiggle in your walk once in a while!

the good...the bad...the final thoughts

First off, the GOOD! Loved Ft. Yargo. Loved the trail, loved getting to meet and ride with Cathy Halgat and her awesome super cool husband, Jay. Loved the variety of the terrain (it's basically a cross section of various parts of all our local trails). Really great. And, with Jeff's new larger platform pedals...no toe pain! WOO HOO!

Then, the BAD! About halfway through our first lap the vertigo kicked in hard. Dizziness, fatigue, nausea. Blechhhh. I had to walk one of the trail climbs and part of the new improved and longer power line climb. Which was even more annoying because long, steady non-technical climbing is something I'm quite capable of doing.

So, we took a food break and tried to head back out. I just couldn't shake it. I had to stop a lot, thinking I was going to puke or faint (once I had little lights flashing before my eyes and came to an abrupt and immediate stop because I refused to faint while riding - good call, eh? Now most of you who know me know that I'm not fast, but I'm not turtle slow either. I'm pretty moderate...but today I just couldn't do anything. I was in granny on things that I would normally climb in the higher side of my middle ring. Seriously, for long stretches I was lucky to put out 3.8 to 4.2 miles per hour average.

But back to the positive with my final thoughts. I powered through the vertigo, while being smart. I just did what I could and on the second lap, even feeling pretty damned ill, I made all the climbs...just in really small gears! More positive, I know I can handle this course with no real worries when I'm 100%. My awesome husband (tomorrow we celebrate our 7th anniversary) was worried and concerned and waited for me at every big intersection, and at each one listened without irritation to which symptom (luckily they didn't hit me all at once...I'd either feel dizzy and faint or nauseous, not a lovely combo of the two which is "oh so lovely") had plagued me most over that two or so mile stretch. Cathy and Jay never made me feel like I was holding them back, though there's not a snowball's chance in hell that I wasn't. Even feeling quite sick, I didn't just decide I couldn't hack it and I finished 24+ miles.

And I was smart enough to know to quit. Another lap would have involved me fainting or puking on the trail. Not something I aspire to.

I can't wait for the Yargo 12 hour in three weeks. I'm very hopeful that continuing to be smart will ensure I am at close to 100% before that event.

Down...but not out

This week has been depressing and difficult. Hence lack of posts. The toe/nerve issue hasn't gotten any better...but I've got a new pair of shoes and I'm going to swap pedals to see if that helps. If not, orthotics and foot massage, followed by doctors and all that mess. Sigh. really hoping the shoe/pedal switch helps.

Anywho...got a ride in on Friday, which with the stress from a really busy stretch at work and the worry over the toes was nice. Toes were an issue, but I worked through it for a nice 30+ mile day out at Dauset with Karen & Melissa. Yeah...Melissa who never freaking posts!!! Had a dorky little wreck over a roller at the end of the ride. Dorky but painful as I managed to bruise up both legs and one arm...but no lasting damage...or so I thought.

I suffer from vertigo...I have since a nasty ear infection in my late teens, but it didn't get bad until my mid-twenties. Stress is a huge factor in flare-ups. The stress of work and worrying about my toe seemed to get that last little push from the wreck and I could tell on Monday night that an attack was imminent. I woke up Tuesday with all the fun, fun, fun symptoms. An empty feeling between my ears, a dull headache, nausea, dizziness, clumsiness, etc. It knocked me out Tuesday and Wednesday. I feel almost like my normal self today.

My first event is next Saturday. 13 hours. Baker's Dozen. Between the toes and the vertigo, I've not done much this week. If I can't get back on the bike this weekend and do a decent set of rides, I'm thinking I'll have to change my "goals" and look to this as simply a "B" event/a training ride.

Anywho...that's why the lack of posts. Not as amusing and sassy as Renee's last post. Hopefully I'll have some good news after spinning with her tomorrow night. Send good vibes my way!

I am so lazy

Indeed. I am lazy. I didn't realize that many of you reading this are avid Enduro Eejit subscribers, daily checking this blog in hopes of finding an update as to what us crazy ladies have going on. I know you looked at my calendar and thought, "hmmm ... Renee had a race last weekend. Wonder how it went?" So forgive me for not posting sooner, you eager beavers.

I have, in fact, had my reasons for not posting sooner. I was digesting, if you will, the events of said race. Let me sum up my thoughts this way: WTF? (mallie, can i say those real words on this blog?? didn't know if we were keeping it PG13).

Why in all that's good and holy would whoever runs the Georgia Cup races think it's a good idea to mix ALL CATS of women together? Why?

So I went up to Gainesville Saturday to do the crit for practice for the Komen Crit exactly less than one week from today. I went to Gainesville not expecting a stellar performance, just wanting to hang on and try to learn something. What I learned is that I'm no where even close to possibly maybe able to keep up with those women, nor do I care to try.

There I was, sitting on the line with about 25ish other women. I'm looking around and see the Aarons pro cycling team surrounding me. These are PRO women. I look back at Graham with a "I'm so screwed" expression, and we laugh as just then the official says "I will exercise the right to pull those of you who appear to have no chance of hanging on. You poor miserable CAT 4 souls (that would be me) should just turn in your numbers now." OK, so that's not EXACTLY what he said, but that's what I heard.

Sure enough as the Pope is Catholic, I get dropped and left as road kill 10 MINUTES into the 30-minute crit. As I turn around and see the lead pack coming up behind me, I hit the brakes and pulled off the course. Game over for Ms. Martinez.

I was assured afterward by Graham -- who hung on like a pro, by the way -- that the Komen Crit wouldn't be nearly as brutal, as they're actually racing Pro1,2 and Cat3,4 separately. What a concept! Racers of differing abilities and experiences racing in separate races! Wow! How novel!

So look for me at the back of the pack again on Tuesday at the Komen Crit. I'll be the one gasping for breath. I swear I'll stick it out this time. I can't let down my fans. lol.

Pinched Nerve?

Something weird happened during the long ride Sunday. A couple hours in I noticed my three outer toes on my right foot hurt a little bit. I rotated my foot inside my shoe thinking maybe my sock had bunched...or something like that. But it just kept getting worse and worse. It was the "little piggie that had none" that hurt the worst. It felt like it was one fire. Stopping to take off my shoe and investigate, I expected my toes to be bright red and swollen, and thought I'd see a bug bite or something. The pain was the intense, hot kind of pain you get when you step on fire ants. But nothing. Toes were normal size, color and appearance. I walked on the foot a bit, sans shoe, and the pain started to go away. I got back on the bike and rode without pain for another hour or so before it started to happen again. Same shoe/sock style combo I always wear. No change to my pedal or cleat position. No changes whatsoever.

It happened several times during the ride. I could always make it subside, but it would flare back up like crazy. It hurt when I pedaled, when I stood with that foot in the down position, when that foot was in the up position and when I went over the log stacks. It would start in that one toe then sort of radiate out to the two around it and down the outside of my foot.

Finished the ride and looked at my toes again...normal. I had minimal pain as I walked around that night and it was pretty much gone Monday. But I noticed it a bit on Tuesday so forewent a ride in favor of weights and core workout. I just got back in from a short sprint and big ring interval session and it didn't hurt at all. I'm going to try a run before our club meeting tonight to see if that causes the same symptoms.

The couple folks I've talked to about it say it sounds like a pinched nerve kind of thing? Anyone out there have any thoughts?

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Sunday was the first race of the GSC (Georgia State Cup) series, hosted by the fantabulous duo of Mr. & Mrs. Berger. A great first event took place at the much groomed and much talked about East Macon Park trail system.

Jeff raced beginner Clydesdale, so no pics of him or other beginners on our camera (I was not there...explanation later in post). Jeff came in 3rd (got some nice schwag), right behind his buddy Chad Lossiah and less than a minute behind the winner. I'm sure sandbagger comments about the BMX pro racing beginner might come about (jokingly though, as folks with brains realize there's a huge difference between the two).

Jeff took a spot by the BMX track to watch the sport and expert do their thing and got some pics of locals and my teammates. I'm posting for their pleasure. First the locals...

Sterling goes for it in expert class

Stan...the Grand Master!

Monte making his way to the podium

Mr. Duffus takes on his age group

And now for the team!

Jody, Alison & Trish

Kari, race promoter and racer extraordinaire

Jody...using the skillz el Jefe taught her...

So, where was I? Well, I don't do fast. Don't do race pace (at least not short XC race pace). So I headed out to another trail system and put in not quite six hours of steady dirt, roots and rocks riding. 5 hours 40+ minutes, 49.4+ miles. It was a gorgeous day...the tunes on the MP3 player never got boring, the sun was shining but I remembered the sunblock. All as good. And I even headed out after three to help clean up after the race. So I get goo "club" member points.

Follow it all up with some yummy cheese enchiladas and it was a pretty darned nice day of riding and racing for all those who got out on the trails!